“I came to the meeting and said a few words about a project. I smiled, nodded and engaged with the work, but something sat like a rock inside me. I wanted to share it, but the time didn’t feel right.” 

How often have you felt like that in a meeting?

While this feeling may be more common among introverts, many of us have likely experienced it at some point. The rise in remote work has only exacerbated this issue, as there are now fewer opportunities to interact with colleagues and share our thoughts.

A lack of connection between colleagues harms engagement, effectiveness and happiness at work (Self Determination Theory – Deci and Ryan 2008). This is where check-ins can help; a small change to your working practice with a big impact.

What is a check-in?

• A check-in is a process at the beginning of a meeting where everyone, in turn, can say something. 
• Sometimes a question or prompt is given to guide the check-in.
• One person talks and then passes to the next person. This can be done alphabetically, around the table or circle, or by the speaker nominating the next person to speak.
• Each person shares a few words, a longer monologue, or passes if they wish not to say anything. It’s not a dialogue or conversation. 
• Sometimes someone reveals something that you naturally want to respond to. Learning non-verbal ways to respond can help. A following speaker can reference what was said so it’s not left hanging and may offer a follow-up chat after the meeting.

You might already be doing some form of check-in. While it’s common for people to ask “How are you?” before a meeting starts, especially in smaller groups, this can often feel superficial, with responses like “I’m fine, thanks” being the normal polite response.

In larger groups of new people, you’ve probably experienced the ‘introduction round’ where people share names, job titles, etc. This often gives a helpful context, if you can remember it all, but it misses a golden opportunity to deepen connections.

The purpose of a good check-in is for people to become physically and mentally present for the meeting (i.e. fully engaged in the moment rather than distracted by the past or future), be aware of each other’s state of mind, and create a connected and supportive environment.

Why bother with a check-in?

To some this might seem like time-wasting; “Let’s get on with the issues we came here to discuss…” However, check-ins done properly can be invaluable in creating high-performing teams:

Encourage equal voice and diverse opinions

A good check-in encourages participants to share the conversation more equally, giving the meeting more diversity of opinion, by:

• Speaking early in a meeting means you are more likely to contribute later. It builds confidence to contribute again. This particularly encourages minorities in the room or less confident people. 
• Testing audio and video settings on remote calls. Or when you are gathered around a large table and unsure how your voice will project.
• Practising speaking in ‘turns’ establishes listening etiquette and an awareness of when there is an unequal share of voice in the room.

Provide a reset ritual

It’s common to rush between back-to-back meetings. A check-in is a moment for individuals to pause, breathe and reconnect with their body and mind by:

• Providing a moment of transition. Allowing people to notice and name distractions, then put them aside so they can be present for the meeting and the business at hand.
• Beginning the check-in process while waiting for people to arrive, rather than delaying the start of the meeting for latecomers, ensures a punctual start and establishes a structured and familiar routine.

Build trust and psychological safety

High-quality check-ins connect people at a deeper level, which is key to building trust and psychological safety in teams, by: 

• Helping us relate to each other as humans in a more authentic way.
• Taking the time to know and understand each other now makes it easier to work together in tough times; your team will be more resilient
• Building a stronger community by connecting regularly rather than on a once-per-year team-building day. 
• Increasing empathy and tolerance for each other, eg: if someone has a toothache, we’re more likely to understand they are grimacing because of the pain, not because of something that was said.
• Sharing information with the whole team without it turning into gossip. This is particularly powerful for remote or hybrid teams, who don’t mix at the coffee machine regularly.
• Sharing ‘care work’ to increase awareness of mental health, share celebrations and support each other through difficult times.

How to do a check-in well

There are lots of ideas online for fun check-in questions, but I think they should be used with caution. They can feel like forced fun or wasted time, as they might not achieve what the team needs at that moment.

The best check-in question depends on the meeting: who is there, how familiar they are with each other and what the aims are. Ideally, you provide a check-in question that is right for the context and the participants’ comfort level.

My favourite question is simply:

“How are you?”

People can say as much or as little as they feel comfortable with. In some cases, I add:

“Is there anything on your mind which might affect you today?”

If I’m facilitating a specific session, I like to tailor the check-in question to the context. For example, it might be more appropriate to do a networking, drawing or meditative check-in, but here are a few example questions that can work in many situations:

• What’s got your attention?
• Describe yourself today as a weather pattern
• What can you celebrate from the last week?
• If you had a remote control, with one button that could do anything, what would it do and why?
• What sport would you do in the Olympics and why?
• Find something that’s bringing you joy right now and tell us about it
• What in your life/work feels like a tangled mess and what feels like a neatly wound piece of string?

Over time, and depending on the meeting cadence, people will feel more comfortable sharing and being more open. Eventually, you’ll probably end up not needing a question at all. People will instinctively know how and why to check-in.

Tips for success

• It can be helpful to guide the length of check-in; are we allowing a spacious check-in today, or are we tight on time and need to limit it to a few words?
• For those new to check-ins, or as an occasional reminder, it can be helpful to state why we do them. This encourages people to take part and be fully engaged rather than ‘going through the motions’ and not getting the benefits.
• It may also help in the early days if the facilitator starts the check-in to model what it might look like, perhaps taking a moment of silence to scan for any tension in their body before reflecting back to the group how they are, and sharing what’s going on more widely in their life.
• Make sure people know it’s optional – they can say “pass” and pass it onto the next person. This may be more relevant where we need to be sensitive to cultural differences.
• For large groups, it’s not practical for everyone to hear everyone’s check-in. So, in pairs or small groups, design an activity or question that works for the context. This way everyone gets a chance to speak and connect.
• Use common sense, you probably don’t need check-ins multiple times a day with the same people. 
• Adjust your questions as people get used to them, go deeper as you get more confident, and eventually, you won’t need a question at all.
• Try check-ins for a few months. It can feel a little odd at first, so give yourself time to get used to them. 
• The success of check-ins often depends on how fully leaders, or those with ‘power’, embrace them. By valuing relatedness and connection in the workplace, others will feel safe to do so too.

What about a check-out?

A check-out is the same as a check-in, but at the end of the meeting. It allows a point of calmness and reflection before we all move on to the next thing. They can be invaluable at sensing how things have landed with people and if a follow-up is needed. Again, with time, you may find you don’t need a question.

Here are some example check-out questions:

• If very short on time:
  • Limit to only one word (e.g. tired, excited, anticipation)
  • Chatterfall in the online chat (ask the question, all type and then send at the same time)
• If there’s enough time for everyone to say a few words:
  • What’s top of your mind as you leave?
  • How are you feeling now?
  • What new insight are you leaving with?
  • What are you grateful for?
  • What are you looking forward to?
• If you have time for a more spacious check-out (well worth doing if the topic has felt meaty):
  • Anything you wished you’d said today and haven’t had a chance?
  • What feels heavier and what feels lighter in this group right now?

Big impact from a small change

With time, check-ins become a natural and regular practice and it feels odd to start a meeting without one.

I can’t guarantee you’ll have an excellent meeting just because you did a great check-in, but you will strengthen relationships, feel more joy and connection with your colleagues, and be more supportive of each other during difficult times. 

By simply checking in with each other you are making a repeated investment in strengthening your network, preparing relationships for collective action and cultivating a more just and caring society.

A call to action

• How do you currently start your meetings?
• Where can you try check-ins?
• Where is weaving connections and relatedness most needed?
• How will you reflect and refine your practice? 

If you’d like some help in your team or organisation, either through mentoring and support, or if you need someone to do the work, please get in touch.

(Photo by Daniel Camargo)